I feel like I have too many of these:

They are known as "pocket tees". These generic, bargain basement, drab, repression-tees just make me sad. Besides the fact they don't breath, there is a breast pocket that, if you use it, makes you look crazy.

I use it for loose change sometimes.

I've always been jealous of people with dresser drawers full of real tee shirts, the kind you get from little league, church picnics, credit card scams, national parks, corporate sponsored happy hours, AIDS walks, NRA meetings, and concerts. An abundance of real tee shirts is clear evidence of the kind of full life that I am not leading.

There is no tee shirt like the one you steal from your ex:

In every relationship there comes a point when you need to borrow a shirt. Most times, if you're on the ball, you will have identified your significant other's favorite/coolest tee shirt. You put it on without asking, and they like the way it looks on you. It makes them happy to know that you too see the beauty in their favorite tee shirt.

Sooner or later, you break up. If you leave the relationship on top, you have a new lucky tee shirt. If you leave heart broken, you have a new rag to dust the furniture.