How far down on your body will you use soap in the shower? I go about an inch below the knee, if that. Jerry Seinfeld has a bit he does about this very topic. He pretends to be confounded as to why people don't use soap on their feet in the shower as, one would assume, feet to be the body part most in need of daily washing. I can't quote the bit verbatim but Seinfeld basically implies that washing ones feet is omitted from the daily ritual out of pure laziness.
Whaaats' the deeeel with thaaaat?
As much as I dislike over-analyzing a funny bit of standup, I am compelled to do so as I feel the situation contains a metaphor more revealing, perhaps, of the human condition than is suggested by Seinfeld's joke. It is my theory that what keeps one from washing one's feet in the shower is not laziness alone, but a combination of laziness and fear. Namely, the fear of loosing your balance and cracking your skull open on the silver shower valve.
So, how do we justify walking around on our or filthy calves, ankles and feet? How to explain this deliberate neglect of the workhorses that are the very foundation of the body? We use more shampoo and more soap, believing that the extra run-off will
trickle down to the underserved and overworked areas existing below the knee line. Sounds good on paper.
Is the fear of falling in the shower truly justified given the growing scumminess of our bodies calves?
Fuck that word, Pant. It really rubs me the wrong way. Like ripping cardboard and hangnails, hearing it makes me nauseous and a little sad. Plenty of girls say the word "panties" makes them squirm. Well, maybe "pant" is the guy version?
