To Any Future Potential Employers of Mine Performing a Background Check

Hi, How are you?

Um...How did you find me?

Just kidding.
Welcome! What do you think of the wall paper?
See the little doctor's office on your left?
Get it? Vaccination?
Yep, did it all myself. I don't list "HTML" as a skill on my resume for nothing! LOL :)

"LOL" is blogger-speak for Loyalty-Oriented...Dynamic, Self Starter.

Just Kidding! LOL ;)

Anyway, feel free to have a look around. You'll find all materials here on my personal blog to be the benign products of a robust imagination which I am eager to channel in ways beneficial to the company. Be assured that all refrences to drug use and atheism are made purely in service of fiction. I think you'll find the views and opinnions expressed are in-step with many of the core values of your organization...I mean, our organization?

Let me just go ahead and say, before you move on to disecting my myspace page, that I found our interview both informative and pleasant. If, for some reason, I gave the impression that I smelled kitty litter in the waiting area I hope you will just chalk it up to nerves. I truly enjoyed meeting you.

So, please feel free to have a look around and then to...leave. Now. I certainly have nothing to hide but, having gone through some pains to shield my identity,...I don't walk up on you and the rest OF THE BOARD MEMBERS HITTING FUCKIN' GOLF BALLS AND SLAP THE DICKS...!!

Ok, Wait. I don't mean that. Please accept my sincerest appologies for that unfortunate outburst. It is in no way indicative of the kind of behavior I am known to exhibit as an employee of...whatever soul crushing, NIGHTMARE, KITTY LITTER, URBAN DECAYING OFFICE...!! LEAVE, LEAVE NOW! THIS IS DISCRIMINATION! THE PROLETARIAT WILL RISE AGAIN! YOU WILL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER!

Sincerely,

Peter

References Furnished Upon Request