The Lighter Side of Celebrity Meltdowns

David Hasselhoff has served as glorious bufoon since before the Berlin Wall came down. A perpetually contented bottom-feeder in show business, Hasselhoff spent 11 joyous years playing second fiddle to a revolving cast of glorified strippers on Baywatch. He was world famous, well paid, and having way too much fun to stop and consider what other acting roles might lie beyond Mitch Baywatch. (That's why I don't feel bad about ranking on him.)

Like William Shatner, Hasselhoff is fully aware, and embracing, of his status as a cultural punchline. If the money is right(even if it's not) Hasselhoff is delighted to lampoon himself with complete disregard for his own public image. That's why I think he had to be aware, on some level, of what he was doing when he showed up to Wimbledon a few weeks ago.

Reports tell it, "Initially he showed up without a ticket, and then once he had one, guards escorted him -- politely, of course -- off the grounds after being 'steaming drunk.'"

What time does Wimbledon start, one, two in the afternoon? Do you know how visibly drunk you have to be to get escorted out of a tenis match? They're like Dead shows! People tailgate for hours with boxes of cheap, headache-wine before stumbling to their seats.

So, Hasselhoff says to the guards, "You should let me in. Do you know who I am? I'm The Hoff."

The Hoff! I'm convinced, somewhere in his soggy brain, Hasselhoff knew he was nabbed and he knew "The Hoff" would be a hit and take off in the tabloids and on blogs--genius.


If I was one of the guards at Wimbledon, I would have fuckin' high-fived The Hoff right there on the spot, busted out some Johnny Walker Blue from the club house, and made him sing his greatest hits, in German, over the loud speaker.