Unholy Godmother

"Madonna's visit to Malawi also has renewed criticism from those who accuse Western celebrities of using Africa and other parts of the developing world as a platform for misplaced, publicity-fueled altruism."--CNN News

So, Madonna has adopted an African baby to get in a pissing contest with Angelina, Bono and the rest? Is that the story? If so, is it really reasonable to believe that Madonna could be so pathologically shallow?

There is some evidence to suggest as much. Few over-the-hill icons have fought so stubbornly to retain their membership in club MTV. Here's a list of her failed attempts to remain interesting:

* Publicly anointing Britney and Christina with "racy" lesbian kisses. The manufactured role of Unholly Godmother to a new generation of hyper-sexual pop divas buys her a few months of press but ultimately fizzles out along with Britney's career.

* Demi Moore achieves end-game in the battle for the over-forty-with-rock-hard-abs crown.

* Kabbalah is looked upon as only slightly less flakey than Scientology since Tom Cruise's public meltdown.

* Filmmaker husband, Guy Ritchie proves merely a lukewarm talent after showing the promise of a young Tarantino.

* Madonna authors children's books that nobody reads.

It looks pretty grim and the press loves nothing more than grim speculation. But who cares? As far as Hollywood publicity stunts go, altruism to the tune of 3 million for a school to help HIV infected children ain't too shabby. It sure beats a sex tape. And what about the little boy she's adopting? His father's cool with it. Damn, he's probably jealous of the little brat. I know I am. Madonna already has two kids of her own. She doesn't drag them onto talk shows or dangle them out of windows. There is no evidence to suggest that she would be anything less than a loving, supportive, sugar momma to a child in desparate circumstances.

But does it set a bad precedent? Screech from Saved by the Bell released a sex tape of his own recently to try and make a little scratch and maybe get a reality show deal. If he starts scooping up third-world orphans then we'll know it's gone to far. Until then, adopt away.