Memo:

Have you ever thought to make innapropriate use of the memo line on a personal check? I used to do it with my freshman roommates in college. Messages like, "Kenneth is a pussy" and "Blow Jobs for the month of April" added a touch of youthful rebellion to paying the gas bill. It's funny the first few times but, quickly, you realize that no one at the gas company or the bank ever reads what you wrote, or, if they do, they don't care. Plus, the only decent punchline for a personal check is the 'Blow Jobs for the month of' one.

I hadn't thought about messing with the memo line again until yesterday. I was paying a ticket I got in the mail for running one of those camera-monitored traffic lights. It was just so smug. To get to the actual ticket I was required to look through pictures, from four different angles, of my guilty little Dodge Neon breaking the law. It felt like I was being blackmailed. Then, two more pages all about the "state of the art" cameras that caught me and how utterly absurd it would be to even consider contesting my ticket in court in the face of such damning evidence(See pg. 1 Photographs).

I went to make my check out to the New York City Police Department but saw at the last minute that it wasn't them taking my money. It was the exquisitely bureaucratic "Red-Light-Monitoring Finance Branch of the Department for..." whatever.

Fuck You.

That's what I almost wrote in the memo line.