Shaving Sucks

I forgot to shave for work this morning. Allright, I didn't forget exactly. I sort of convinced myself that I could get away with it and now I'm screwed. It's nine o'clock in the morning and I would say I'm rocking about a TWO o'clock shadow. The plan is to dodge anyone important until at least three oclock when, I'm hoping, my facial hair will be on par with that of some of the swarthier gentlemen in the office.
I swear--I would wear a three piece suit, patent leather shoes and a monocle to work everyday if it meant I didn't have to shave. It's always comes down to a trade off: eat a quick breakfast or shave; hit the snooze button or shave; I don't want to say the third activity by name but it's like the Olympic Luge, only stationary. And i would much rather do that than shave.
And God forbid you're stuck with a dull blade when it comes time to shave. You feel like Marathon Man. Worse still, is when you honestly do FORGET to shave until halfway out the front door. You don't want to be late but if you walk into work with stubble it wont be long before rumors start flying that you're bi-polar, alcoholic, or you're marriage is falling apart. What's the last thing they say about a guy before he gets fired? They say he's been "comming into work unshaven" and they're "just concerned". Yeah well, save it.